I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
