You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
