What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
