I will die if light touches me.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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