Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
