weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
