now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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