There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
