the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
