haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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