dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize