At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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