who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize