i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
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I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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