just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
