I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
