Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
