yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
