I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
