We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Blood and glitter go together right?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me