Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
