Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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