Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
