Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
