let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out