After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
