just tell him i said nine months
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
