Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Randomize
