I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
