haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
