I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
