I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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