Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
