just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
