pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
