Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
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Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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