We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
