guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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