Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
