i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
