Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
