he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
