I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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