Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize