I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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