are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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