just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm like, not good at living.
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