people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i came on her dog
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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