You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
