Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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