I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
