Got a toothbrush?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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