butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
