i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize