You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
