I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
