she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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