Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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