yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
then he tried to convert me to islam
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
