Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
