I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Found the puke drawer
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
