I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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