im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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