Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
